That’s One Mean Carb Barb
I work at a small bar. It’s Friday, but before the weekend rush has started. A customer is telling me how his doctor has advised him to lose some weight and cut back on unhealthy food, so he orders a low-carb beer. He takes a sip and immediately winces.
Customer: “Ugh.”
Me: “Yeah… low-carb beers do tend to be lighter.”
Customer: “Yeah, no thanks. Give me a Corona.”
I nod and get him his bottle. The man takes a big sip, sighs in satisfaction… then pauses.
Customer: “Wait, this has all the carbs, right?”
Me: “Yep.”
Customer: “Can you, like, suck the carbs out? I want the taste but not the calories.”
Me: “…We don’t really have a carb vacuum behind the bar.”
Customer: “Well, can’t you just… do something?”
A bit lost, I look over at my manager, who has just finished another job.
Bar Manager: “Sure. We’ll swirl it counterclockwise and whisper ‘keto’ at it.”
The customer just stares.
Bar Manager: “That’s as scientific as the rest of your plan.”
