That’s Not The Way To Get Their Number

(I’m typing in a patient’s vitals in the exam room and have just asked her to rate her pain on a 1-10 scale.)

Patient: “Well, it feels kinda like someone took a piece of rebar and shoved it in my hip from here all the way to here.”

(As she was speaking, she had come over to where I was standing at the computer, and ran her finger firmly down my butt to my calf! I was too surprised to move and she clearly didn’t intend anything by it, but it’s a lot more intimate than I usually get with patients! And she never did give me a number. That was all I wanted.)