That’s Not How You Kill Bill

(My husband always calls my mother-in-law at least three times a week since she lives so far away. He is usually met with the answering machine and always leaves a message. My mother-in-law calls on Thursday.)

Mother-In-Law: “You never call and always ignore me and leave me out of your life.”

Husband: “I call all the time and leave messages because you are never home.”

Mother-In-Law: “My house phone isn’t working.”

Husband: “I wasn’t aware.”

Mother-In-Law: “Since the handset isn’t working I don’t need to pay my bill.”

Me: *face-palm*