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That’s Not How You Butter Someone Up

, , , , | Right | September 24, 2021

We don’t use a lot of butter in the house, so it is a couple of weeks before we get round to buying more after running out. As it happens, both my wife and I buy some on the same day without the other realising. We will never use both tubs, we cannot donate or return it, and it seems a shame to throw it away. We offer it for free on a local selling site.

We get quite a lot of stupid comments and more from people who think they are hilarious. But eventually, someone does want it, so we arrange a time and date. They don’t show up.

I message them.

Me: “Hey, you didn’t show up yesterday. Do you want the butter still?”

Buyer: “Yeah, no. You can give it to someone else.”

Me: “Okay, please let us know if you are not turning up. I was waiting around for you.”

Buyer: “Whatever. It’s butter!”

After another couple of days of messing around to give something away for free, I’m regretting not just putting it in the bin. I get contacted by a very grateful single mother. I feel pretty bad, so I dig around and find a few more odds and ends that we will probably not eat, and she collects them.

I get a message from the first guy.

Buyer: “I will take that butter after all. My wife wants it now.”

Me: “It’s gone.”

Buyer: “Don’t be a d**k. I can come over now.”

Me: “Don’t. It’s gone.”

Buyer: “Yeah, right, who is going to pick up some second-hand butter?”

Me: “Well, not you. Someone who actually appreciated the gesture already claimed it.”

I blocked him straight after. Thankfully, he didn’t show up. I can’t stand people so ungrateful.