That’s Not How Feminism Works; That’s Not How Any Of It Works

(The manager has just called down to the front asking for security to escort a known and already barred thief from the building. As I take the call, I decide to tell the guard. I am a feminist and everyone I work with knows this.)

Me: “[Guard], [Manager]’s seen this guy in the store.” *points to the wall of banned individuals* “He wants him searched and removed.”

Guard: *sizing me up* “You do it.”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Guard: “You heard me. If you think a woman can do everything a man can—” *points at me* “—you do it.”

Me: “Well, first: that’s not what I think, and second: that isn’t my job; it’s yours. You’re employed as a security guard!”

Guard: *stands up and stretches* “Look who’s cowering now. Need a big strong man, do you? You feminists are all the same! You talk about equality, but when it comes down to it, you just want to blame us for your shortfalls.”

Me: “That’s it!” *walking away*

(There was another guard on the other side of the store who worked mostly on electronics. I got HER to help me, instead, and reported the first guard to management. Just because I’m a feminist, it doesn’t mean I think men and women are the same. It means I believe we should be TREATED the same. Same opportunities, same legal protections, same f****** taxation when it comes to personal hygiene!)