That’s Not A Win For Bananas
Customer: “Why are they scanning at 50% off?”
Me: “These items are buy-one-get-one-free, but the system is programmed to halve the costs when they’re checked out.”
Customer: “But now I’m paying for both. I want one free!”
Me: “You are. You’re paying the same price. It’s just a quirk of the system.”
Customer: “Stop trying to scam me! I want one free!”
Me: “You are. You’re paying for one, and getting one free.”
Customer: “But the screen says I’m paying for both!”
My manager swoops in, as he sees this isn’t going anywhere.
Manager: “Here, let me fix that for you.”
He does a manual override, and charges 100% for one, and marks another as zero. The total payment, obviously, is unchanged.
Customer: “Why is the total the same?”
Manager: “Because 50% off of two items is the same as one being full price and the other being free.”
Customer: “That makes no sense! I don’t understand.”
Manager: *Using an old customer service adage.* “I can explain it to you, but I can’t understand it for you.”
Customer: “You better not be scamming me!”
The customer pays and walks away, going over her receipt line by line to look for any deception on our part.
Manager: *To me.* “There are days I’m reminded that humans share 50% of their DNA with a banana.”
Me: *Looking at the customer walking away.* “Some might share more than others.”
Manager: “Don’t insult perfectly good bananas!”
P.S. Yes, yes, I know humans don’t share 50% of their total DNA with bananas, just 50% of the protein-coding genes, but that sounds less snappy in a story, don’t you think?
