That’s His Normal And He’s Sticking To It

(I’m sitting in the library near the main desk reading a book when a 30- to 40-year-old man enters the library, walks up to the desk, and has the following interaction with a librarian.)

Patron: “Hi, I’d like to get a new library card. I think I had one, but it’s been a while since I used it.”

Librarian: “Sure. What’s your name?”

(The patron gives his name and the librarian looks him up in the system. While he’s waiting, he starts to take stickers from the basket that is set out for kids. He then begins to stick them on his face at random.)

Patron: *in a serious tone, after adding a second sticker along his jawbone* “I’m going to put some stickers on my face.”

(The librarian looks up at him, a bit surprised, but doesn’t say anything.)

Patron: “I have to cover up the bite marks” *he leans over the desk, sticking his face out for inspection* “See the marks? That’s where my dog bit me.”

Librarian: *seems a bit startled, but carries on as if this is normal* “Wow, um… That’s too bad. So, you do have an account, and you can get a new card for $5, or I can just give you the number to use the computer.”

(The patron took the number and walked off to the computers with multiple children’s stickers still stuck to his face.)