That’s No Way To Butter Them Up

, , , , | Right | June 22, 2021

We’ve turned off the usual self-serve butter station and instead are giving customers cups of butter that we pre-pour and seal. It’s to avoid having too many people touching the same surfaces at the butter station. The cups of butter we pre-pour are specifically measured out to be about enough to evenly cover a large popcorn. I’ve just sold a middle-aged customer a large popcorn and I hand him a cup of butter.

Me: “Here’s some butter for your popcorn if you’d like.”

Customer: “Pfft! What’s that?! That’s not enough! You’re trying to be cheapskates!”

Me: “That’s about enough to cover a large popcorn if you drizzle it evenly, but I can give you extra butter, if you’d like.”

Customer: *Furious* “That’s not enough to cover a large popcorn, idiot! Look!”

The customer opens up the butter and pours it straight down, all in one spot without spreading it out at all.

Customer: *Fuming* “See?! Not enough butter!”

Me: “Well, sir, I’ll give you another one, but I’d recommend moving it back and forth as you pour so you can evenly coat the popcorn!”

I hand the customer another butter and he does the exact same thing; he pours the entire cup straight down in the exact same spot without spreading it out at all.

Customer: “Not enough butter!”

Me: “Sir, trust me, if you move the cup back and forth, you’ll see it should evenly coat the popcorn, but I’ll give you another one.”

I hand the customer a third butter, and he does the exact same thing yet again.

Customer: “NOT ENOUGH BUTTER!”

This repeats several more times. I’m practically pleading with the customer to spread the butter out and telling him he’s probably using way too much, and he keeps defiantly pouring the butter into the exact same spot over and over again. Finally, he leaves the concession stand, fuming that we were being “cheapskates” who “wouldn’t give him enough butter!” At the end of the movie, he comes back.

Customer: “Look what you made me do! I couldn’t eat all my popcorn because of you! You gave me too much butter!”

He holds up his popcorn tub, and the bottom of the tub looks like butter soup. There’s way too much butter pooled and a lot of popcorn just sort of floating around in it.

Me: “Well, sir, as I said, the cups were measured out to be about enough to cover a large popcorn if you drizzle it over the top evenly.”

Customer: “But there wasn’t enough to do that! You weren’t giving me enough butter!”

Me: “You just told me I gave you too much butter.”

Customer: “Because you did!”

He stood there arguing for a good minute, alternating between accusing me of not giving him enough butter, and giving him too much butter. Finally, he stormed off.

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