That’s News To Him!

I work for a local independent television station. We don’t have a news broadcast and never have.

Me: “[Station], how may I direct your call?”

Caller: “Assignment desk, please.”

Me: “I’m sorry, we don’t have an assignment desk.”

Caller: “Oh, then connect me to your news department.”

Me: “We don’t have a news department. We don’t have a news telecast.”

Caller: “Let me speak to your news director, I have a story that needs to be on the news.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but we don’t have any news programming at all. Perhaps you could call one of the other local stations; most of them have news, but we don’t.”

Caller: “You’re wrong. A TV station has to have news. It’s required with your FCC license.”

Me: “Our FCC license requires us to act in the best public interest. Most stations satisfy this requirement through a local news broadcast. We satisfy this requirement through a series of locally-based programs.”

Caller: “No, no, no, you’re wrong. You’re a TV station, so you have to have news. I’m right and you need to connect me to your news department right now.”

I was stunned into silence.