That’s Code For “Nothing Is Wrong”

I’m working at a popular video game store during the holidays. Obviously, any digital content cannot be returned, since we can’t guarantee the code hasn’t been used.

A dad and his eight-year-old come in with a case for a hugely popular online game, which actually only has a digital code.

Me: “Hi. How can I help you?”

Dad: “Yeah, we need to return this.” 

Me: “Well, we can’t return it since it’s digital, but I can see what I can do for you.”

Dad: “You need to return it. It doesn’t work.”

Me: “Well, is it giving you any error?”

Dad: “Yeah, it’s a bunch of gibberish. I want my money back.”

Me: “Well, usually, looking up the error code will help, though it also gives a basic description of what the error is.”

Dad: “It says something about a connection. I just wanna return it.”

I flag down my manager since I can tell this guy won’t budge.

Me: “Unfortunately, we cannot refund digital content. We can help you troubleshoot the issue and give you the number for [Console Company]’s support line, but we cannot refund you.”

Dad: “This is bulls***! I bought it here and it doesn’t work!”

Manager: “Sir, we’re going to ask that you watch your language. My employee is right; since the issue is in the console or your connection, there’s nothing we can do other than offer a support number.”

Dad: “Well, I already called. They said because my kid forgot his account password, they can only send a reset email. I never got it.”

Manager: “That’s still an issue beyond us, and there isn’t an issue with the code you bought, so we cannot return it.”

Dad: “F*** you guys!” *Storms out*

My manager looks at me.

Manager: “I’m willing to bet the guy just doesn’t want to admit his kid’s dumb as s*** and forgot his password.”

Me: “That, or he used the code and is trying to scam us.”