That’s Assuming If A Woodchuck Could Chuck Wood
(This was my last week at a very lousy sales job working for a major jewelry manufacturer that deals exclusively with jewelers on a screened account basis.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [Manufacturer]. How can I help you?”
Customer: “I need a price check on a diamond.”
(We go through a drawn out process of finding the stone he wants: a large carat, high-grade diamond. I quote him the price in the system.)
Customer: “That can’t be right! That’s too expensive!”
Me: “It’s the price I have in the system, sir. If you like, we can look for a different piece?”
Customer: “NO! It has to be that one! Are you sure that’s the right price?”
Me: “Yes, sir.”
Customer: “Are you absolutely certain?”
Me: “Absolutely, sir.”
Customer: “And that’s in dollars, right?”
(At this point, I’m fed up and not really concerned with whether I get fired or not at this point. I answer in my most sincere deadpan.)
Me: “No, sir. That’s in woodchucks. We deal exclusively in fresh, live woodchucks.”
(I hear a bark of laughter from one of the call monitoring agents on the next row, which gets even louder when the customer asks if I’m serious.)
This story is part of the Cheapskate Customers roundup!
Read the next roundup story!
Read the roundup!
