That Taught Him A Lesson

(I look really young, around 16 or 18, but I’m actually 25. I just finished my schooling and have gotten my license to become a high school teacher. One of the perks is 15% off at the restaurant my fiancé and I are eating at.)

Me: “Can we have the bill please? Oh, and I have a 15% off teacher discount.” *shows coupon code on phone*

Waiter: “Oh, yes, one moment. I just need to clear it with my manager.”

(The waiter leaves and after about five minutes comes back with the manager.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, Miss, but this discount is for teachers.”

Me: “I know. That’s why I’m using it.”

Manager: “No, sweetie, it’s for the TEACHERS, not their friends and family. I’m sure you or your mom didn’t know.”

Me: “Yeah, I know. I’m a high school teacher.”

Manager: “Haha, good one. I’ve had a lot of kids try to get discounts over the years, but that one takes the cake!”

Me: *pulls teaching license and photo ID out of wallet* “No, really, I’m a high school teacher.”

Manager: “This teaching license only has a name. You probably just have the same name as your mother.”

Me: “No, we don’t. Whatever, forget it. 15% isn’t worth the hassle.” *to fiancé* “Honey, it’s my turn to pay, right?”

Fiancé: “Nope! I’m taking it this time. I owe you since I accidentally woke you up last night climbing into bed.”

Manager: “Uh… I’ll be right back. I just noticed I made a mistake on your bill. Don’t move.”

(We assumed that maybe the manager finally decided to give us the discount and don’t think twice. However, a few minutes later…)

Security: “Sir, we’re gonna have to speak to you for a moment.”

Me: “What’s the problem?”

Security: “Oh, sweetie, nothing for you to worry about. We just want to ask your ‘friend’ a few questions. You’ll be perfectly safe and fine. How about you order yourself a little dessert, okay, honey?”

Me: “First of all, that’s my FIANCÉ you’ve got there, and secondly, I think you owe both of us an explanation.”

Security: “Wait a second… fiancé?” *looks at both of us, looks at the table, notices the wine bottle and the glasses, looks at us again* “Uh, miss, how old are you?”

Me: “25. We were both ID’d when we ordered, so this better not be about the wine.”

Security: “Oh, boy. Let me go get the manager…”

(Turned out, the manager freaked when he heard that my fiancé [who is 30 and definitely looks like it] was climbing into bed with what he thought was a high school student [me] and got security to intervene while he called the police. Luckily he was still on the phone when the security guard went to find him, so the cops were never actually involved. The manager never noticed the alcohol on the table [meaning I was at least 19 and very much legal] and failed to notice my birthday on my photo ID when trying to argue that I wasn’t a teacher. All he saw was “some kid trying to get a discount.” We ended up getting the entire meal for free for our trouble!)