That Plan Is Balls-Out Insane

(I’m dropping off our young rottweiler to be neutered, Our community has a great spay/neuter program that is both affordable and helps support a local rescue. While I’m filling out the intake form, a man and his wife come in to pick up their dog. The man sees my rottie sitting next to me and starts asking about him.)

Man: “Now, there’s a dog! We have a little dog right now, but eventually I want one like that!”

Me: “Thank you, he’s a good boy.”

Man: “What are you in here for?”

Me: “He’s being neutered.”

Man: “WHAT?! Why would you want to cut his balls off?! He’s a real dog. He needs ’em!”

Me: “Uh… well for one thing, he’s a rescue and it’s part of the agreement with the rescue group that he be neutered. Also, it’s the responsible thing to do.”

Man: “Just look at him! He knows why he’s here and he’s upset!”

(I look at my dog, who is currently chilling out without a care in the world, despite the crazy man yelling next to him.)

Me: “I think he’ll be fine.”

Man: *grumbles* “Well, at least get him some fake balls!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Man: “Yeah, they make fake ones you can have put in, only about $3000 or so. Give your dog his confidence back!”

Me: “Sir, I can promise you I don’t have an extra $3000 lying around, and if I did I wouldn’t be spending it on fake testicles for a dog who will not even notice once they’re gone.”

Man: *still grumbling* “But he’s a real dog!”

(Thankfully, the vet called me back after that and the couple was gone by the time I left. Our rottie did just fine, and is still his perfectly goofy self even without the ability to reproduce.)