That Motherly Love Isn’t What It Used To Be

(My wife and I have eaten some old MREs — meal, ready to eat — for dinner, and we’re feeling a little off. Later, I tell my eighty-five-year-old mother about it on the phone.)

Me: “We ate some seven-year-old army rations for dinner, and now we don’t feel too good.”

Mother: “Don’t eat those; they’ll make you sick! You should give them to homeless people!”