That Joke Died

(I’m at my best friend’s house with two other close friends, and I’ve just told them my news about buying my first apartment with inheritance money from my dad’s death over a year ago. They’ve congratulated me and we’ve started celebrating a little when two other friends show up, whom I haven’t known that long and don’t know my situation.)

Best Friend: “Oh, [My Name], tell [Friends] your news!”

Me: “Yeah, I kinda bought myself a flat! I get my keys next week.”

Friend #1: “Nice one!”

Friend #2: “Ooh, wow! Who died?”

(The room gets pretty tense. Out of the corner of my eye I see my best friend freeze. All my other friends are wide eyed and open mouthed in shock, all glancing at me to see how I react. I’m taken aback yet find the current situation slightly amusing.)

Me: *deadpan, full eye contact* “My dad did.”

(A look of sheer horror passes over Friend #2’s face, as he clearly wasn’t expecting that, and he cannot look at me.)

Friend #2: “Oh… my God. F***. I am… so sorry. I didn’t know, I didn’t mean it; it’s just a thing people say, y’know? …I’m really sorry, [My Name].”

Friend #1: “You’re an idiot.”