That Insurance Racket Is Killer

Automated System: “Hello, and welcome to [Insurance Company]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Person, please.”

Automated System: “I understand that you would like to speak with an agent. Please help me make sure you get to the right person by saying [list of categories].”

Me: “I don’t know. Billing?”

Automated System: “All right. I’ll get you an agent in billing. To better serve you, please state the nature of your problem. You can say [list of categories].”

Me: “None of those apply.”

Automated System: “Please say [list of categories].”

Me: “Which category do I pick for ‘My medication is temperature- and moisture-sensitive, we’re in the middle of a hot, humid August, and your company is making me get this through the mail? A mailbox, by the way, which is over a mile from my house?!'”

I am a bit angry. Just a bit.

Automated System: “Getting you a billing agent.”

Agent: “How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi. I have a medication that is temperature- and moisture-sensitive. I can’t use your mail service. I need to buy my medication at a real store, but your company won’t pay for that.”

Agent: “I’m sorry, but I can’t help you with that. Let me transfer you over to approvals.”

This song and dance went on for over an hour. I transferred back and forth between half a dozen departments. In the end, I was told that I could either pay $400 for a bottle at my pharmacy or sit by the mailbox all day. Oh, and I could make sure it got there at an expected time by paying an overnight delivery fee of $25! Yay!

Fed up, having no money for either fee, and feeling exhausted, I decided to get it through the regular mail. The medication did not come within the promised week.

I was taking the medication for a blood clot. I ran out of my medication, and my doctor had to prescribe a different type of medication — one she didn’t like because it was dangerous for me to take — just to hold me until the real medication arrived. They paid for the second one in store because it was a new medication, even though it was twice as expensive.

Another week passed, and my doctor called them, very angry. They decided to send my medication overnight as a “complimentary service,” which meant that they had never sent my medication in the first place.

No amount of complaining has done anything. I am stuck with these guys until they succeed in killing me.