That Got Dark

, , , , | Working | August 30, 2019

My mom makes me do errands every now and again because my social anxiety is bad enough that I just lock myself in my room all day. 

I decide it would be a good idea to not wear my earphones in — challenge myself and all that. I don’t even hold onto my phone, a pen, or a book, as means of anchor and self-defense should I need it. Years of bullying does that to you.

As soon as I walk near the makeup section, it feels like I am entering a battlefield. Every retail worker within 10 to 30 feet approaches me to advertise their product. I just smile at them and keep saying, “No, I’m just looking around. Thanks.” 

I pick up a shade of lipstick that I like and ask one of the salesladies for help. I think she is going to swatch it on me. Nope, she does it on herself. Our skin tones are three shades different. She’s white, I’m brown, and the shade is metallic purple. 

I try to swatch it on me but she keeps pushing other shades like pink and other bright colors that hurt my eyes. I say that I like dark colors. She says I look ugly in those. So, I just do a U-turn and buy almost the same shade at another store, albeit a bit more expensive because anxiety just kicked me in the face and I don’t like confrontations. 

Lady, if you want customers, work on your attitude.

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