That Diet Went Pop

(I’m having lunch with my mom. She’s had to cut a lot of foods like dairy and wheat from what she eats because of health problems and allergies. I have completely different health problems from her, including a medication that makes me constantly crave sugary drinks.)

Mom: “You need to cut down on the processed sugar! No soda, no chocolate, no [Coffee Chain], just for a couple weeks. Trust me, you’ll feel better!”

Me: “I know. I’ve been trying, but it just seems to make the cravings stronger.”

(We continue discussing ways to eat healthier, until her lunch break is over and she has to head back to work.)

Mom: “Oh, by the way, [Coworker] gave me a big bag of [candy] and you know I can’t eat any.”

(And that’s how I ended up with a 2-lb bag of lollipops.)