That Complaint Is Stuffed With Lies

, , | Right | July 14, 2019

Me: “Thank you for calling [Pizza Place]. Would you like to hear our specials?”

Customer: “Actually, no. I have a complaint.”

Me: “All right, what’s the problem?”

Customer: “I came in earlier and ordered one of your stuffed pizzas, but after four pieces I realized you guys forgot to put toppings on the inside!”

(I’m very suspicious at this point, considering the pizza would have gone through five people before we wrapped it and gave it to the customer. Not only that, but I remember specifically making her pizza, with all the toppings on the inside, because it was the only stuffed one we made all night. Also, it took her FOUR pieces to realize there were no toppings on the inside. However, it’s company policy that we make the customer as satisfied as possible.)

Me: “Well, if you want, you can bring the pizza back, and we’ll gladly make you another one and give you a free side for the inconvenience!”

Customer: “I can’t.”

Me: “Why not?”

Customer: “Well, we were so hungry we ate it all! Can you take my name down so I can come in next week and get a free one?”

Me: *speechless*

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