Thanks For Shopping At Quadruped, Inc.

(I witnessed this interaction between a girl and her dad.)

Dad: “Are you as picky about your toilet paper as your ex-stepmom was?”

Girl: “No, not really.”

Dad: “Okay, grab one of those, then.”

(The girl reaches for a pack that’s on its side.)

Dad: “No, no, not that one. I want one that hasn’t been touched by human hands!”

Girl: “Are you saying the store employees aren’t human?”

Dad: “Well, you’ve seen them… You be the judge.”

(I had to walk off so they wouldn’t hear me laughing.)