Thankfully, Love Is A Universal Language, Part 2

(My ex-boyfriend and I met in a college linguistics class, so grammar is a running joke throughout our relationship. We are living together. I am leaving for work about ten minutes before he is.)

Me: “It’s a little icy, so please drive safe.”

Boyfriend: *not looking up from the computer* “Safely.”

Me: “Blah! You’re right. Drive safely. I love you. Oh, wait, does that sentence objectify you?”

(Diagramming the sentence, “I love you,” shows “you” being the object of the sentence.)

Me: “You are who I love.”

Boyfriend: “Whom.”

(In mock fury, I throw a nearby sandal at the back of his chair. He starts laughing hysterically. As I walk out the door, he yells back.)

Boyfriend: “I love you, too!”

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