Thank Goodness Each Generation Moves Further From The Previous One

My mom is originally from a town in Tennessee where interracial relationships are generally frowned upon. It didn’t rest well with her when I started dating a fellow black student in one of my classes at a community college.

Mom: “I just want the best for you! This is gonna end badly for you, and I don’t want you to end up in jail, a single mother, or dead!”

I counter her to stop with her racial stereotypes.

Mom: “Okay, what about when he wants to go to Detroit? You know how dangerous it is over there?”

Me: “First off, he was born and raised here and doesn’t know a single soul in Detroit, and second, he’s commented several times that he’d never even stop in Detroit for a hot dog because of the deplorable state it’s in.”

Mom: “Or maybe vacation in Compton or Philadelphia…”

Me: “Are you being serious? Really?”

Mom: “Okay, here’s a serious one. No exaggeration. What if you get pulled over with him, the officer runs his name, and he has warrants. The officer searches him and finds a bunch of marijuana on him? Do you know that they can legally confiscate your car and charge you with conspiracy?”

Me: “First of all, he doesn’t even smoke cigarettes, let alone weed. Second, he’s trying to get into the military and you know they drug test all recruits and require a clean criminal history. Third, I didn’t see you disowning [Older Sister] when she got busted for possession a while back!”

Mom: “Okay, you said he’s going to school full-time right now. How is he supporting himself financially?”

I sense the “sponging off handouts” bait, since he uses grants, scholarships, and student loans, and I’m not about to fall for it.

Me: “The same way I do!”

Mom: “Has he shown you proof?”

Me: “It’s none of my business! Did you run a full background check on Dad before you started dating him?”

Mom continues with more stereotypical babble.

Mom: “I just don’t want you to be labeled and ruined for life. No one anywhere will respect you.”

She goes on and on.

Mom: “My sister’s aunt’s best friend’s dog walker’s friend so and so married a black man. Word got around and she was passively fired from her job. I mean, do you want to go to your mailbox and find a letter stating you’ve been expelled from school? Or for every employer you apply with to see your Myspace and Facebook with the two of you together and automatically toss your resume in the shredder? I’m being serious here!”

And so on. This was back in 2010 before people seriously began confronting racism head-on, but it always mystifies me how someone could be filled with so much irrational bigotry and eat these persistent decades-old stereotypes like candy.

He and I broke up a year later for completely unrelated reasons, but my mom DOES know that it doesn’t change my position one iota.