Tex Perplex

(I moved to Houston, Texas from New York where all my family is. They don’t know the size of Texas so I get a few random calls:)

Mom: “Did you have to evacuate? Is your house on fire?”

Me: “What are you talking about. It’s hot hot but not that bad.”

Mom: “The forest fires. They said Austin was on fire. It’s right where you are!”

Me: “Mom, no, that’s a few hundred miles away. Nowhere close to me.”

(Another call.)

Dad: “So, are you getting the tornadoes?”

Me: “What tornadoes? It’s a beautiful day here.”

Dad: “Well it’s Dallas; how far is that?”

Me: “Think NYC to Vermont.”

Dad: “Oh. So, I hear a chemical plant exploded.”

Me: “Not in our city. Think about driving to Canada; that’s how far away it is.”

Dad: “Your mom said it was near you,”

Two-Year-Old Nephew: “Uncle, where are you?”

Me: “In Texas.”

Two-Year-Old Nephew: “So far away. Grandma, Uncle is sooo farrr awayyyy!”

(Why is a two-year-old better at understanding distance than my parents?)