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Telling Her To Take A Hitchhike

, , , , | Friendly | February 15, 2018

(I’m driving from Ohio to California. It’s the middle of the day, on a long stretch of empty highway. I see a guy walking with a nice-looking suitcase, with his thumb out looking for a ride. I don’t normally take hitchhikers, but this guy is well-dressed, and I have a long way to go, so why not? I pull over and offer a ride, the guy thanks me and puts his stuff in the back, and we get going.)

Hitchhiker: “Hi, my name is [Hitchhiker].”

Me: “Hi, car break down?”

(The guy sighs and rubs his face.)

Hitchhiker: “No, it’s my anniversary with my girlfriend of four years, and we were going to stay at this B&B a few miles up the road.”

Me: “Sounds romantic.”

Hitchhiker: “Yeah, the place looked really nice.”

Me: “So, why aren’t you there now? Fight? “

Hitchhiker: “No… Not really. She insisted we take her car. We get there, the place is amazing. She goes to check us in and I get the bags. She comes out and leads me to our place, a little cabin off the main house. She opens the door and there is this guy there. I think we have the wrong room. Nope, turns out this is her new boyfriend. I just turned, walked out, and kept walking.”

Me: “Well, at least you got your clothes.”

Hitchhiker: *laughs* “Nah, my stuff isn’t worth much. I have her clothes. I want to see how cute the guy thinks she is when she doesn’t have 12 pounds of makeup on.”

(He laughed again. We talked the entire 150 miles to his home.)

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