Technically Unsupportive

(On my way out of the company, my computer-illiterate coworkers ask me to teach them how to edit web forms. I’ve had to deal with a lot of with these coworkers, so this is the last straw.)

Accountant: “So show me the file where we do things.”

Me: *opens file* “Here it is.”

Event Planner: “But that’s a PHP file. You were hired for HTML.”

Me: “You can use them together.”

Accountant: “We can’t do PHP. You need to teach it to us.”

Event Planner: “Yeah, we need to know PHP to do this.”

Me: “I can’t teach you PHP in the hour I have before I leave this job. I spent two years in college and numerous months on freelance projects before I had a full and complete understanding of HTML and PHP.”

Accountant: “Well, just tell us how to change the price on this thing here.”

Me: “Go here and change ‘price’ to a different number.”

(The accountant changes the number, then changes two other numbers that aren’t related to price, saves the file and closes the program.)

Accountant: “See? I just changed three prices. I didn’t need time in college for that, did I?”

Me: “That was unnecessarily rude. I’ve been polite about how little you understand all of this ‘high tech’ crap, but I’m done. I’m out; see you guys never, and I don’t want a reference.”

(Two weeks later, they leave 25 voicemail messages saying that the form the accountant edited is broken, and that I need to fix it. I never respond.)