Technical Reports Abhor A Vacuum
Manager: “There’s a guy in our department who keeps submitting reports that look like they were typed during an earthquake.”
Me: “Who?”
Manager: “[Coworker]. Look at this.”
It takes me seconds to realize his report has random letters missing, extra characters somewhere else, and some sentences that almost make sense, but not quite.
I decide to sit with him to observe him making a report, and it’s odd, because when he’s asked to explain his work verbally, he’s sharp. He spells fine (barely uses the built-in spell checker). He knows the material. I see no issues at all.
A week passes:
Manager: “Look at this. Absolute nonsense again.”
Me: “But I sat with him. He was fine. Something must be happening between making the report and submitting it.”
Manager: “Fine, I’ll get tech support to look at it.”
I’m told that IT first tries to check everything remotely, from keyboard drivers to language settings, accessibility options, and all come up with nada.
Finally, they sent someone down to observe him in person. I’m in the office, so I also get to observe this “observing” from my desk.
The IT guy sits quietly behind him for about twenty minutes. [Coworker] is working normally… but he’s also demolishing a family-sized bag of chips at his desk. I’m kinda vaguely aware that he does this every day, but this is my first time focusing on it, and it’s clear the guy is making a mess of his keyboard.
IT Guy: “Uh… that’s a lot of crumbs.”
Coworker: “Oh, don’t worry. I got a thing for it!”
He reaches into his drawer and proudly pulls out a small handheld vacuum. Then, without hesitation, he turns it on and starts vacuuming the keyboard… hard.
I’m looking directly at his screen as I see keys depress in clusters, shortcuts firing, windows minimizing and maximizing, and one closing outright. One spreadsheet looks like it goes on a spiritual journey. The IT guy is staring, as transfixed as I am.
IT Guy: “…Can you stop for a second?”
Coworker: “It’s fine, I do this all the time.”
IT Guy: “Yeah. That’s the problem.”
IT Guy teaches him one new step: lock the computer before vacuuming the keyboard.
Problem solved.
