Teaching How To Spell

| Related | December 19, 2011

(I work a summer job in a Wiccan store. A father walks in.)

Me: “Welcome to [store], how may I help you?”

Father: “My daughter wants to be a witch.”

Me: “Okay sir, how old is she?”

Father: “15.”

Me: “Sir, do you mean witch, or ‘witch’?”

Father: *giving me a curious look as I was making air quotes around ‘witch’* “Why are you asking?”

Me: “Because, sir, the legal age for joining a coven is 18. She’s too young, I’m afraid.”

(My co-worker chimes in.)

Co-worker: “Is she here?”

Father: “Yes, she’s outside.”

Co-worker: “The one with the big dog?”

Father: “Yes.”

Daughter: *from outside* “Dad! Stop making me be a witch! It’s a school project!”

Me: “She can come in if she wants to. We’re harmless.”

Father: “What would she need to get started being a witch? I found drawings of stars and knives and cauldrons in her room, along with a book. It’s witchcraft I tell you!”

Me: “What book was it?”

Father: “The Crucible.”

Me: “Ah. You may want to check with her school. And read the book.”

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