Teach A Man To Fish (For Soda)

, , , , | Friendly | July 25, 2019

(I am waiting to use the self-serve pop machine at a fast food burger place. The man just ahead of me is trying, unsuccessfully, to fill up his cup. Each beverage dispenser has, like most drink machines, a big logo of each drink type — pop, root beer, lemonade — with a “PUSH” button underneath each to run the dispenser. Note: the man is an adult, clearly local, and has a seven-ish-year-old child with him.)

Man: “Stupid thing.” *pushes on the logo, not the button* “Come on…” *tries to push the logo of a different dispenser*

Man: “How do you…”

(He rams the cup under the dispenser, attempting to use a cup-push-bar thingy that this machine clearly doesn’t have.)

Man: “This stupid thing…”

(He confusedly begins pushing every part of the machine except the clearly-labelled, LED back-lit, and bright white “PUSH” buttons.)

Man: “Does it even…” 

(He sits his cup under his desired beverage and takes a step back, looking at it. He then notices me standing there.)

Man: “Oh, you go ahead first. I’m still not sure what I want.”

(I step up, making sure not to block his view as I use the machine.)

Man: *clearly watching me as he speaks to his kid* “You wanted [Pop Brand], right? Okay, I was just double-checking first.”

(After I finished filling my cup and began to walk away, I heard the machine pouring away.)

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