Tea Time Until The End Of Time

(My dad is offering the family tea, and he finally offers tea to my grandma. My grandma has a tendency to go off on long tangents over the simplest things.)

Dad: “Hey grandma, do you want tea?”

Grandma: “Tea?”

Dad: “Yes, tea.”

Grandma: “Oh, tea. I remember when I first had tea, it gave me horrible stomach problems…”

(She proceeds to go on for 20 minutes about tea and coffee, and how each affects her body.)

Grandma: “…and coffee was just as bad…and then, when I was forty…”

Me: “Oh, dear God.”

Dad: *aside to me* “I think I can assume that this entire thing was a ‘no’ from her.”