Talking Shirty

Customer: “Hey, I need you to help me pick out something to wear.”

Me: “All right. Any special occasion?”

Customer: “Yeah, I got a date on Saturday. I’m taking my girl to [Local Amusement Park].”

Me: “All right, so you’ll probably need shorts and a nice shirt. How about this?”

Customer: “No, nicer than that.”

Me: “It’s supposed to be really hot this weekend, so you’d need a shirt with a thin fabric. This is a very well-made shirt.”

Customer: “If you say so, but I better get laid or I’ll be back Sunday and file a complaint.”

(A female coworker walks past and the customer starts talking to her.)

Customer: “Hey, would you sleep with me if I wore this?”

Female Coworker: “…”