Talking Loudly Speaks Volumes

(I am with my wife, who is disabled and uses a mobility scooter, doing our weekly shopping. A rather well-to-do middle aged woman is blocking the aisle, and talking on her phone.)

Wife: “Excuse me?” *a little louder* “Excuse me?”

(Still, she just stands there.)

Me: *quite loud, but not shouting* “Hey, can we just get passed please?”

(Still, she just stands there on her phone, oblivious to us. All of a sudden, an older gentleman in an army uniform appears behind us.)

Army Man: “May I?”

(We nod and let him past.)

Army Man: *loud enough to wake the dead* “GET OUT THE BLOODY WAY!”

Woman: *startled and nearly drops her phone* “Well, I never! No need to shout!”

Army Man: *no drop in volume* “THIS COUPLE ASKED YOU THREE TIMES TO MOVE, AND YOU WERE MORE CONCERNED WITH YOUR CALL. I DIDN’T SPEND FIFTY YEARS IN THE ARMY DEFENDING THIS COUNTRY FOR YOU TO ACT LIKE A JACKA**! SO, NEXT TIME, SHOW SOME RESPECT!”

Woman: “Rude!” *walks away*

Army Man: *normally, to us* “There we go, guys!”