Talking Baloney About Salami

(I’m the manager of a small local deli. It’s known for unusual cuts of meat, as well as your regular ones. One day a more than eager customer comes in.)

Customer: “Hey, buddy, I want some llama meat.”

Me: “I’m sorry…? Llama meat?”

Customer: “Yeah, my son gets it from here for me every week. Llama meat! You have unusual meat here, and I want some llama meat! Are you new or something?”

Me: “Sir, I’ve worked here for almost a year, and I can assure you we’ve never stocked such an item; in fact, I’m pretty sure hunting llamas is illegal.”

Customer: “No, listen, you little twit! Llama meat! I put it on my sandwiches! See, right there! You have little circles of it, Salamo meat!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir? Could you repeat that?”

Customer: “Llama meat! Salamo meat, whatever! I put it on my sandwiches and it’s red and spicy! Salamo llama meat!”

Me: *putting two and two together* “Do you mean salami? It’s red and comes in circles, and ours is spicy.”

Customer: “Yes, salami! Llama salami salamo meat! Don’t you know anything? God!” *storms out*