Talking At Cross-Channels

(I have tired of paying for cable since I rarely watch television and I cancel my subscription. A month later I get rid of my two television sets. A year after that I get a call from a telemarketer.)

Telemarketer: “Hello. I see that you are only on the phone and internet plan. If you sign up for cable, you can bundle and save!”

Me: “That’s nice, but I don’t own a TV. So, no, thank you.”

Telemarketer: “But you can bundle the cost of internet/phone/cable to save!”

Me: “However, I don’t have a television set so I have no need for cable.”

Telemarketer: “But if you get cable you will pay more if you don’t bundle.”

Me: *sighs* “No, I don’t want cable for TVs that I don’t own. I am hanging up now.”

(The next day I get a different telemarketer from the same company.)

Other Telemarketer: “Hello. I see that you are only on the phone and internet plan. If you sign up for cable, you can bundle and save!”

Me: “No, thank you. I don’t own a television set.”

Telemarketer: “But you can bundle the cost of internet/phone/cable to save!”

Me: “Yes. I understand that, but as I said to you and the person yesterday, I don’t have a television set so I have no need for cable.”

(This happens again for the next two days, with different telemarketers.)

Me: “You know, I just talked to a couple different people this week. Why don’t you get me your supervisor?”

(The telemarketer gets the supervisor, who talks very condescendingly.)

Supervisor: “Hello. Let me explain how bundling works for the cable and your current phone and internet plan.”

Me: “Please stop and listen to what I am about to say. I DO NOT WANT CABLE BECAUSE I DO NOT OWN A TELEVISION SET. As in there is NO television for the output of said cable TV. So it would be a waste of my money and your time since I do not own a television set.”

(There is a very long pause until the supervisor’s light bulb goes on.)

Supervisor: “Oh, you don’t… Oh, you don’t HAVE A TV?! Oh, well, then. You won’t be needing cable at all. I will put a note on your file that you have no TV and not to call you about cable.”

(I broke a slew of telemarketers since not owning a TV is not in their training!)