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They Have To Talk Through Every Meal

, , | Right | June 28, 2017

(I am calling an Internet tech support line, so there is plenty of down time while you reboot. I would have been more chatty but I wanted to see how it played out.)

Tech Support: “Have you had breakfast today?”

Me: “Not yet.”

Tech Support: “Well, you know it is the most important meal of the day.”

Me: “Okay.”

Tech Support: “Well, don’t forget.”

Me: *silence*

(He coughs uncontrollably.)

Tech Support: “You know I have this cold.”

Me: *even more awkward silence*

Tech Support: “My lungs are filling up. Do you have recommendations for a good cold medicine?”

Me: “Nyquil.”

Tech Support: “Why? What does it do?”

Me: “It helps you sleep.”

Tech Support: “Yeah, well, maybe I will call in sick tomorrow. So, it’s been five minutes. Has it rebooted?”

Me: “Yes, but it’s still not working.”

Tech Support: “Let’s try again and check in another five minutes.”

Me: *silence — is he kidding me?*

Tech Support: “Do you know of any other cold medicines?”

Me: “Alka-Seltzer cold. Listen, can you just send tech support out?”

Tech Support: “Sure. I was going to recommend that in a few more minutes. Will you have a good day?”

Me: “Yes, I will.”

Customer: “Well, I will try to get bett—”

Me: *hangs up, cutting him off*

(I figured his job got boring and he felt in the mood for a chat. Later, a friend who is in customer service said they aren’t allowed to be silent for a certain amount of time.)

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