Taking Wuthering Heights To New Lows

(My roommate and I like to read books to each other. On this night, we’re reading ‘Wuthering Heights’ since she just bought a Bronte Sisters anthology.)

Me: *reading book aloud* “Her position before was shelter from the light; now, I had a distinct view of her whole figure and countenance.” *under breath* “Do she got the booty?”

Roommate: “Don’t ruin Bronte, [My Name]! Don’t do it!”

Me: *smirks and continues reading as the author describes the girl’s appearance* “She dooooo!”

Roommate: “Godd*** it, [My Name]!”