Taking The Ham-Fisted Approach

(Seeing the line for the deli stretch halfway through the produce section, I stand in line while my fiancé goes for the rest of the stuff. Every single person in line ahead of me goes through the same process.)

Customer: “Let me get some ham.”

Deli Worker: “What kind of ham?”

Customer: “Um… [brand].”

Deli Worker: “Okay… What kind? Honey glazed, regular, salt free?”

Customer: “Oh… uh… [type].”

Deli Worker: “How much?”

Customer: “Um…”

(This continues on, not just for each customer, but even when one customer has multiple items! I finally step up to the counter just as my fiancé arrives.)

Me: “Let me get 1/4 pound [brand] low-sodium roast reef, 1/4 pound [brand] low-sodium turkey, and 1/2 pound [store brand] American yellow, please.”

Deli Worker: “Ooh honey, you’re my favorite customer of the day!”

Fiancé: “What was that about?”

Me: “Apparently, I’m the only person here that thinks ahead!”

Customer After Me: “Let me get some… salami.”

Deli Worker: “Here we go again!”