Taking Telemarketing Into Orbit

(I’m at home in the evening when I get a scam call. My boyfriend and I have had a lot of these people calling up about “our past accident,” hoping to get information or money out of us. We’re both major space geeks.)

Scammer: “Hello, good evening madam. How are you?”

Me: “Fine, thanks. How are you?”

Scammer: “I am calling about the accident you had, in a car, some time back?”

Me: “Oh… that! It wasn’t a car. It was a rocket.”

Scammer: “Sorry, madam?”

Me: “Yes, it was a space rocket. We crash-landed over Africa.”

Scammer: *struggling desperately to sound as if this is a normal conversation* “…and how long ago was this?”

Me: “Oooh… maybe ten years?”

Scammer: “And how many people were in the vehicle?”

Me: “Three. There are always three astronauts in a Soyuz capsule.”

(A Soyuz capsule is the small capsule that three astronauts being taken to or from the International Space Station ride in.)

Scammer: “And who was driving?”

Me: “Probably NASA.”

Scammer: *thoroughly confused now* “Your boyfriend?”

Me: “No, astronauts don’t need boyfriends.”

Scammer: *giving up* “…thank you, madam.”

Me: “Byeeeeeeeeee!”

(I had to feel sorry for the poor bugger with a job like that! But my boyfriend, as much a feminist as I am, is totally supportive of the idea of astronauts not requiring boyfriends unless they want them!)