Taking Notes To Use This One In The Future
I’m out shopping for a few things and I remember that I need some ham, so I go to the cooked meats aisle and look for something tempting. As I’m searching for something nice, I hear a voice behind me saying, “Excuse me!” in a not-at-all polite manner. I look over my shoulder and see another customer. I acknowledge her and take two steps to the side but don’t turn around. I feel a tap on my shoulder and hear the same non-too-polite voice saying:
Customer: “Excuse me. I’m talking to you. Don’t ignore me.”
I turn around and open my mouth to ask what she wants and why she’s being rude, but before I can speak, she starts berating me for being a lazy member of staff and ignoring her.
Me: “If you think I work here, you’re wrong; I don’t.”
Customer: “You’re just being f****** lazy. I’ll have your job!”
Me: *Badly feigning surprise* “Really? You’ll have my job?”
She says, with a strange mixture of superiority, righteousness, and stupidity:
Customer: “Yes, I will.”
Me: “Okay. Suit yourself. You can have it.”
I wave my hands around in strange shapes and announce:
Me: “You are now officially a member of staff.”
It is said that a picture can speak a thousand words, but the look on her face just says, “What the f***?”
Customer: “But I want you to get [things] for me… I want—”
Me: “Don’t ask me. I’m a customer. You should ask a colleague since you work here. In fact, you can help me with what I need.”
Customer: “What? But I don’t work here!”
Me: “Yes, you do. You said you’d have my job, and I gave it to you. Now f*** off and leave me alone.”
She stomps off, but that isn’t the end of it. Another customer, who’s clearly seen the interaction, stops her halfway up the aisle.
Customer #2: “Oh, finally, someone who works here! Can you get that heavy [item] off the top shelf—”
Customer: “Oh, f*** off!”
She walked, presumably, out of the shop. [Customer #2], you absolute legend!
This story is part of our Halfway-Through-2022 roundup!
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Question of the Week
Have you ever served a bad customer who got what they deserved?
