Taking “It Takes A Village” A Little Too Far

I’m standing in front of my register in a home improvement store when a customer with a baby carrier walks up to me.

Customer: “I forgot something in the car. Can you watch my baby while I go and get it?”

I look at her like she has lost her mind.

Customer: “Well, you see, it’s because it’s windy outside.”

Yes, because leaving your kid with a complete stranger is much safer than a little wind. I am briefly contemplating telling the woman that I eat babies for breakfast because the look on her face indicates that if I tell her “no” out loud, we will have a six-hour-long argument about why refusing is unacceptable.

Thankfully, my boss steps in.

Boss: “Sorry, ma’am, we cannot be made to be responsible for children.”

She tries to argue, exactly as I predicted, and he shuts her down so completely that it cuts her off, mid-argument.

About twenty minutes later, she walks through my line, and the first words out of her mouth are:

Customer: “What kind of discount are you going to give me for refusing to watch my child?”

I bite my tongue.

Me: “There’s only one discount available: our credit card deal.”

When she learns that she can’t negotiate the interest percentage the credit card will charge her — “Guarantee me only 2% interest or no deal!” — she decides she doesn’t want it.

Customer: “No, I should get a discount as compensation for the inconvenience of not receiving help with my child.”

I refused to budge, and she finally moved on from that topic and put some paint up to be rung.