Taking High School For A Spin

(My younger sister and brother have always been close and share the same mischievous sense of humor. My mother has learned to expect some sort of tomfoolery from them whenever the house is “too quiet,” as she says. This happens one afternoon when the two of them are in middle school.)

Mother: “Do you know where [Sister] and [Brother] are? Things have been a bit too quiet around here for a while.”

(In a moment of absolutely perfect timing, we hear the toilet flush in the bathroom down the hall.)

Brother: “OH, MY GOSH, THAT FEELS WEIRD!”

(We rush to the bathroom to find Sister giving Brother a swirly.)

Mother: *about to have a fit* “WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING? IS THAT ANY WAY TO TREAT YOUR BROTHER?”

Sister: *lets go of brother* “He asked me to do it!”

Brother: *takes head out of toilet* “I asked her to do it!”

Mother: *blinks* “Why on earth would you ask to get a swirly?”

Brother: *without skipping a beat* “Because I’m a massive nerd, Mom. Everyone knows that nerds get swirlies from the jocks in high school, so I wanted to prepare myself for that ahead of time.”

Sister: *nods along sagely*