Taking “Crazy Requests” To A New Level

I’ve just been hired on as a security guard following a layoff, and I had this job recommended by a friend. I go into the office to get my new schedule.

Me: *Reviewing the sheet* “This doesn’t work.”

Receptionist: *Rolls her eyes* “You’re new; you don’t get the best assignments until we get to know you.”

Me: *Holds up the sheet* “You’ve got me working thirty-six hours in two days, with less than four hours total between shifts.”

Receptionist: “So? Like I said, you don’t get the best shifts right away.”

I’m starting to realize this job is a mistake.

Me: “You’re barely giving me time to drive from one job to the other, much less get food, shower, and sleep.”

Receptionist: “You’ve got your schedule.”

Me: “You’ve hired me on to protect our customers and their property, right?”

Receptionist: “That’s your job.”

Me: “How confident do you think they’ll feel about knowing that you’re assigning them a guard who’s been awake for two days straight?”

Receptionist: “FINE.”

The receptionist snatches the schedule back and goes in back, presumably to talk to whoever issued my assignment, before returning. She snaps, “HERE!” and throws the new schedule at me. Looking over the schedule, I notice another error.

Me: “Can I talk to the coordinator directly?”

Receptionist: “No! He’s busy. You’re lucky he changed your schedule at all.”

Me: “Did you tell him I was unsatisfied with my hours?”

Receptionist: *Eyes me* “Did you listen at the door?”

Me: “No. You just gave me the same schedule, with a fourth shift overlapping two of the others. You’re literally expecting me to be in two places at once now.”

Receptionist: “What is your problem? You want the overtime, don’t you?”

Me: “It’s no good to me if I fall asleep driving, and no good if you reprimand me for not being at one location because I’m still working another.”

The receptionist throws up her hands and walks into the back, not even taking the schedule this time. After a few minutes, another woman — the coordinator — storms out.

Coordinator: “Sign this. This is a written reprimand for insubordination.”

I silently show her the schedule. 

Coordinator: *Reads over it* “Oh. Uh, I’m sorry. I cut and pasted the wrong hours onto your schedule. Just a minute.” *Returns to the back*

The receptionist returns and wordlessly hands me a new schedule, one with long shifts but plenty of time to return home and rest between them.

Me: “Thank you.”

Receptionist: “Yeah.”

She waves me off without looking at me. I make a mental note to contact another shift manager about this behavior, but midway through my second shift, I get a phone call.

Receptionist: “Why aren’t you at [location #4, the overlapping shift from the second awful schedule]? You were supposed to be there two hours ago!”

I still had four hours to go on my current shift.

I hung up, and on the way home at the end of the current shift, I dropped off my uniform and explained that I quit, effective immediately. They kept calling me all week to demand to know why I was not at a shift, and I had to keep reminding them I’d quit.