Taking Charge Of The Matter

, , , , , , | Related | March 29, 2012

(My twin brother and I are about 15 at the time. I have just placed some AA batteries into a charger and gone to bed. My brother and I are both woken up in the middle of the night by a loud fizzle and pop.)

Brother: “What was that?”

Me: “Just the radiator… Go back to sleep.”

Brother: “I don’t think that was the radiator.”

(He turns on the light and sees that the batteries in the charger are fizzling, and a thick fluid is pouring out of them and on to the floor.)

Brother: “Oh, my God, it’s the batteries! Wait, did you put single-use batteries into a charger?”

Me: “Umm…”

Brother: “You idiot.”

Me: “I’ll clean it up.”

(I get up and go to pick up the batteries before any more fluid leaks on to the floor.)

Brother: “Wait, you can’t just pick them up! That stuff is toxic!”

Me: “Well, what should I use?!”

Brother: “I’ll go get some rubber gloves. And some aluminium foil.”

Me: “Foil?”

Brother: “Yeah, I read somewhere that you have to dispose of the batteries in foil before throwing them away.”

Me: “Are you sure?”

Brother: “Just do it!”

(My brother and I both try to dispose of the leaking un-chargeable batteries from the battery charger. Our mother then walks into the room to find out what all the noise is about in the middle of the night. She walks in to find us both in our underwear, wearing rubber gloves, with aluminium foil in our hands. There is a long silence where we all just stare at each other.)

Mum: “Are you two on drugs?”

Us: “No, mum.”

Mum: “Am I on drugs?”

Us: “No, mum.”

Mum: “Good, then I don’t want to know. I’m going back to bed.”

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