Taking Account Of The Offers

(I have just paid off my car loan and closed the account when I notice a sign by the teller’s window.)

Me: “Oh, hey, you’re selling discount tickets to [Theme Park]? Could I buy two of those?”

Teller: “I’m sorry, no. Those are for account holders only. Would you like to open an account?”

Me: “Uh. No, thanks.”

(The other tellers looks appalled that she wouldn’t sell me the tickets literally 10 seconds after closing my account, but she wouldn’t budge!)