Taking A Boob To The Eye

(I work at an optical. In the state of Arizona it is required to update your contact and glasses prescription once a year. Also, it is illegal for an optical to sell or give out contacts on an expired prescription. We could lose our license and ability to operate. Sadly, this situation happens ALL THE TIME! A customer walks in quickly, pushing herself in front of everyone, and waves in my face to get my attention, which she already had.)

Customer: “HELLOOOO! Oh, my gosh, this is such an emergency! I dropped one of my contacts down the sink, and I’m about to go on a date!”

Me: “Well, that’s no good! Let me look it up in the system. What’s your name?”

Customer: *states name*

Me: “I’m so sorry, but it seems like you’re overdue for an exam and we need to update the RX before we can give you cont—”

Customer: “WHAT?! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! GET YOUR MANAGER!”

Me: “Sure.”

(I tell my manager the situation, and he sighs and quickly walks up. The customer is turned around doing something with her button-up blouse.)

Manager: “Hello, ma’am. What—”

Customer: *whips around with her blouse unbuttoned so low that her boobs are practically falling out* “Hi! Wow! Your eyes are super pretty! Is there any way I can get one little contact? See, it’s super-duper important!” *smiles huge and bats eyelashes*

Manager: *who is happily married* “No, sorry, ma’am. It is illegal here in Arizona to dispense an expired RX.”

Customer: “WHAT?! I KNOW THAT. CAN’T YOU DO IT JUST THIS ONCE?!”

Manager: “Sorry, no, but I can schedule you—”

Customer: “F*** YOU! YOU MUST BE GAY!” *storms out*

Me: “Uh… okay?”