Take A Shot In The Dark
(A friend is visiting from out of town and has forgotten to bring her contact lens container. I offer her two shot glasses, which we cover with plastic wrap and put in the medicine cabinet. In the morning, my roommate catches me before my friend awakens.)
Roommate: “What were those shots in the bathroom?”
Me: “They are my friends contacts.”
Roommate: “Oh, I wondered why it tasted awful.”
Me: “Wait, you drank her contact lens?!”
Roommate: “I didn’t know what they were! I didn’t know why you’d have two gross shots.”
Me: “You drank both of them?!”
Roommate: “I was confused!”
(Thankfully, the local eye doctor had my friend’s prescription in stock and my roommate bought her a box, so she could see. It was a little pricey, but we declared it an idiot tax.)
