Take Notary: He’s An A**

(A customer calls shortly after we open to see if we have a notary on staff today. I tell him that we do, and she’s on the schedule until four. Around noon, she gets a call from her son’s elementary school and has to leave unexpectedly because he fell on the playground and broke his arm in three different spots. We put up our “Notary not available; we apologize for any inconvenience” signs. Around three-thirty, the man who called in the morning comes in.)

Customer: “I need a notary. I was told there would be one here.”

Me: “Unfortunately, she had to leave early today due to a family emergency.”

Customer: “I don’t care about her family! I need a notary!”

Me: “We don’t have right now. She’ll be back in tomorrow morning at eight, or if you did need one today, most banks do have them. There’s– “ *names three banks right in the same plaza* “If you’re a member, I believe they do it for free, but if you’re not, then there’s a small fee.”

Customer: “I’m not paying after you’ve inconvenienced me!”

Me: “Okay… There’s also a notary at city hall, which is at [address less than a five-minute drive away], and there’s no fee as long as you live in this county.”

Customer: “I’m not leaving until I get this notarized!”

(My coworker has been listening in the back the whole time and finally decides to come up and say something.)

Coworker: “You won’t be able to get that done here today and you can’t spend the night here, so I suggest you leave and get it done somewhere else.”

Customer: “I’M NOT LEAVING! I’M A PAYING CUSTOMER!”

Coworker: “Except that you’re not. We don’t have the service you need because our notary had a family emergency involving her young son.”

Customer: “I don’t care about her son! I—”

Coworker: “And I heard you say you weren’t going to pay anyway. I suggest you leave now or I’m going to call the police.”

Customer: “Fine! But I want options for where I can go and I want a discount coupon!”

Me: “Again, there are three different banks right in this same plaza who have notaries on staff. There’s also city hall. I think even [Pharmacy across the street] has one now.”

Customer: “I want realistic options! How far do you expect me to go?! This is the worst customer service I’ve ever experienced!”

Coworker: “[Bank #1] is two doors down from us. [Bank #2] is directly across the parking lot. [Bank #3] is on the other side of this same shopping plaza. City hall is literally less than five minutes away.”

Customer: “I’M LEAVING! I’M NOT LISTENING TO THIS! AND I’M WRITING YOU A TERRIBLE REVIEW!”

(He never did write the review, but he did contact corporate, who required us to reach out to the customer and apologize for the negative experience at our location and tell him that we hope we’ll see him back again soon.)