Kids Say The Truthiest Things, Part 2

| UK | Right | October 9, 2012

(The zoo allows children aged 3 and under in free; however, this is frequently misread by visitors as ‘under three’. A couple comes in with a boy aged around 5, and a little girl. My dad’s on the entrance till, while I’m waiting to take over for lunch break.)

Customer: “Two adults and one child, please. She’s two.” *points at their little girl*

Customer’s Little Boy: “Mummy, she’s three! She’s not two, mummy. Don’t you remember? She had a birthday and a cake and she’s three now. She’s not two any more! I got her a present and her friends came over and…”

Customer: *puts on a ghastly fake smile and drags both children away*

Customer’s Little Boy: *while being dragged away* “But she’s THREE!”

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Kids Say The Truthiest Things

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Some Questions Eat At You

| Pennsylvania, USA | Working | September 6, 2012

(On my days off, I intern at a morgue. Because of this, my coworkers frequently ask me very odd questions.)

Coworker: “Hey, come here. You work in a morgue. You might be able to answer this.”

Me: “Oh, here we go. Do I want to know?”

Coworker: “What would be the best way to fillet a person?”

Me: “You mean to cook and eat?!”

Coworker: “Yeah!”

Me: “Have we forgotten that though I work in a morgue, I’m also vegetarian?”

Coworker: “Oh yeah. Never mind. Carry on…”

My Family And Other Animals

| Cincinnati, OH, USA | Related | June 30, 2012

(My mother-in-law is holding my toddler up to look at an animal at the zoo.)

Mother-in-law: “Look at the hippo! Hi, hippo!”

(She sees a zookeeper nearby and calls him over.)

Mother-in-law: “Excuse me, do you ever let children pet the hippo?”

Zookeeper: *horrified* “No. No, we do not let children pet the animals. And… that’s a rhinoceros.”

Unbearably Bad Ideas, Part 2

| Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Right | June 25, 2012

(I am at the zoo with my little cousin to see the pandas that have recently arrived.)

Visitor: “Aw, look at it! It’s just so cute! They’re not dangerous, are they?”

Worker: “Um, well, they’re bears…they’re just as dangerous as other bears.

Visitor: “But if I were to walk in to the enclosure, it wouldn’t hurt me. I could touch it, couldn’t I?”

Worker: “Well, no. It’s a bear.”

Visitor: “Oh, but the female! She must be very gentle. I could touch the female panda.”

Worker: “Actually, she’s pretty feisty. I wouldn’t go near her, either!”

Visitor: “Aw, I really thought they were cute and lovely, like big teddy bears! I’m so disillusioned now…”

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Unbearably Bad Ideas

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Weekly Roundup: The Parent Is Not Always Right

, , , , | Not Always Right | Right | June 24, 2012

The Parent Is Not Always Right: This week, we feature five stories of people who aren’t just bad customers, but bad parents too!

  1. Bad Parents Bug Us:
    A mother and her two “angels” go on an insect-killing spree at a zoo.
  2. Fruit Is But One Food Group:
    There’s nothing sweet about this parent’s approach to nutrition!
  3. Talking S*** Behind Someone’s Back 101:
    A mother teaches her daughter the joys of smack-talk.
  4. Rounding Down To The Nearest Child:
    Signs you have too many kids: you don’t know how many you have!
  5. Oh Where, Oh Where Have My Role Models Gone:
    Nanny nanny boo-boo, mommy acts like a doo-doo!

PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

PS #2: Read more roundups here!

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