Unfiltered Story #181217

, , , | Unfiltered | January 3, 2020

(This happened while I worked at the city zoo during the rainy season. It is very common in Florida for sudden and extreme thunderstorms to happen during this time and can last from five minutes to several hours. One rolled through and the restaurant was packed with people trying to get out of the storm and deciding to get food while they waited it out.
Note: the restuarant I worked at was the bigger of the two in the zoo and has three sections of tables as well as a covered area right against the wall of the building outside with tables and the open air seating along with the section in the middle for the maze and two aisle that lead from the doors to the counter.)

Customer: *comes up to the counter and speaks a bit rudely* Excuse me, do you have any more seats?
Me *as one of the people passing out food and helping cashiers with fill their drink orders and having to shout over the noise*: Um, if you can’t find a seat inside there may be ones just outside against the wall that aren’t in the rain?
Customer: No! There aren’t any seats out there. We already looked!
Me: Then I’m sorry, ma’am we don’t have anything else.
Customer: Well you should have more seats! *walks away*
Me: ?? *looks at the packed restaurant with very little standing space left and at least a dozen customers trying to stay out of the way while they wait for there food* *to my coworkers and customers in earshot* Where would we put them?

Don’t Have A Cow, Mom!

, , , , | Related | November 19, 2019

(My middle school participates in a program that involves students helping out at a function for younger kids. I’m assigned to help in the petting zoo, which I’m really excited about since I love animals. I’m telling my mom about it afterward.)

Me: “They had a bunch of bunnies and a cranky alpaca. And there was this little calf named Valentine. He was so cute! He even sucked on my fingers!”

Mom: “Wait, what?”

Me: “Cows don’t have top teeth so he couldn’t bite me; he just sniffed at my fingers and then he started sucking. I swear I just melted. It was so cute!”

Mom: “That’s disgusting.”

Me: “It was adorable!”

(I still feel happy when I remember that little cow trusting me enough to suck on my fingers.)

1 Thumbs
338

“Able” To Bring Her Down

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 15, 2019

(My uncle is considered by the rest of my family to be a “child-whisperer” because he can easily manage five children at a time by himself. He can take five of us — his kids and my siblings and our other cousins — on outings and manage to keep us all safe while we have fun. We all love him because he is very easygoing and patient but also can be silly with us. We go to the zoo when I am nine, with my ten-year-old and four-year-old cousins — his son and daughter — and twin six-year-old cousins — his nieces. We overhear two old ladies speaking. One of them points at my six-year-old cousin who has one leg.)

Rude Old Lady: “It is fitting that they brought that freak to a zoo.” 

(Her companion laughs. My uncle overhears this comment, as does my cousin, who starts crying. While her twin and the rest of us are attempting to cheer her up, my uncle walks over to the ladies, smiling.)

Uncle: *in a jovial sort of way* “Hello. Would you kindly repeat what you said?” 

(One of the women looks apprehensive, but the other doubles down on what she said before.)

Rude Old Lady: “I said that it is fitting that you brought your freaks to the zoo.”

Uncle: “Freaks? That’s a bit harsh, isn’t it?” 

Rude Old Lady: “No, it’s accurate. You’ve got two kids wearing glasses — that ought to be child abuse, especially when you’re doing it to a little girl — and a kid with one leg. Plus, that kid has another kid who looks just like her except she’s whole.”

Uncle: “Oh, the twins? They don’t look that similar. For a start, she has blonde hair and she has black hair. I might consider it child abuse to not let children wear glasses, regardless of gender.” 

(So far, my uncle has been very conversational in tone. Now, he spreads his arms out like he’s making a grand speech and starts speaking loudly. The other people near the bear exhibit — and even the bears themselves, probably — are listening now.)

Uncle: “Understand this, O ableist hag! I do not appreciate you calling my family freaks, O she-who-made-a-kid-on-crutches-cry! I have nothing more to say to you, O demon-in-a-woman’s-body! Begone, I say!” 

(While my amputee cousin starts laughing at the absurdity of the statement, the rest of us cheer, and the woman, publically humiliated and shamed, stalks off, her companion saying, “Well, you were a bit rude, don’t you think?” to her on the way out. I bring this up now, years later, only because while visiting our grandmother during the summer, the oldest of my cousins and I go to the grocery store. My cousin nudges me in the ribs and says:)

Cousin: *just loudly enough for her to hear* “Hey, it’s the demon in a woman’s body!” 

(She scowled at us and kicked in our general direction before walking away.)

1 Thumbs
724

Unfiltered Story #157514

, , | Unfiltered | July 9, 2019

(I am at a reptile exhibit with my younger sister. We are looking into buying a chameleon from a breeder here, as their reptiles tend to be healthier from the ones sold at pet stores. We have wondered over to a snake cage where the breeder is sitting close by.)

Sister: Oh! I want to hold that huge snake!

Me: Careful it might bight off a finger!

(The breeder has been listening in and holds up a hand, missing two fingers.)

Breeder: It just might.

Lions And Tigers And Tired Moms, Oh My!

, , , , , | Related | June 21, 2019

(I am at the zoo with my family looking at the tigers. The lions are on the other side of the zoo. A woman in her 20s walks up holding an 18-month- to two-year-old child.)

Woman: “Look, honey! See the lions?”

1 Thumbs
177