(I am making my rounds in the Africa area. An American couple is standing in front of the lion compound. There is a clear sign stating it is an African lion.)

Tourist #1: “Excuse me, what animal is this?”

Me: “That would be a lion, ma’am.”

Tourist #2: “Oh, yes. We have them in Utah!”

Me: “Actually, sir, you have mountain lions in Utah. Not African lions.”

Tourist #1: “Then you should tell someone that mountain lions shouldn’t be in the Africa section!”

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(A father and his young daughter are at a popular theme park looking at the manatees.)

Daughter: “What animals are these?”

Father: “I don’t know, honey. I think it’s a woolly mammoth.”

Me: “Sir, those are manatees.”

Father: *shrugs* “Well, I was close!”

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(I work at the food court at a zoo. After one customer gives an order, their total comes to $10.26. They fish out a ten-dollar bill and a quarter, and continue to look for a penny.)

Me: “Oh, that’ll be fine.”

Customer: “You sure? I know I have a penny in here somewhere, I’d rather just give you that.”

Me: “Oh, okay then.”

(The customer pulls out a penny that has been in a Press A Penny machine, machines that we have around the zoo that flatten, shape, and add an animal imprint design to pennies.)

Customer: “Here you are.”

Me: “Well thank you, but you realize you can’t use this penny, right?”

Customer: “What? Why not?”

Me: “It’s not valid anymore. But really, it’s fine if you’re one cent short.”

Customer: “It’s not about that! It’s about why you’re all too good for my money!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll take it, but it’s not–”

Customer: “Is it because I’m [ethnicity]?”

Me: “No, ma’am!”

Customer: “Then tell me what it is! The real reason!”

Me: “Um…” *I look at the penny* “Oh! Yeah, this penny is valid. Sorry, I mistook it for something, uh, else.”

Customer: “Thank you!” *walking off* “Some people these days!”

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(We will be opening a new Asia section in the spring. The area is visible, but guests can’t walk through it yet.)

Guest: “Excuse me, what is that over there?”

Me: “That’s going to be our new Asia exhibit.”

Guest: “Is it going to have panda bears?”

Me: “No, I’m sorry, ma’am, it’s not.”

Guest: “Why not?”

Me: “Well, all of the pandas that you see in zoos are actually owned by China, and the zoos have to pay $1 million per year to rent each panda. They even have to pay for any babies born, and have to sign a contract that all of the pandas belong to China. It’s just too expensive.”

Guest: “But I thought the 14th Amendment guaranteed citizenship to any baby born here! Those should be our pandas!”

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(I am holding one of our bearded dragon lizards for customers to pet.)

Customer: “Okay, so I know they’re bearded dragons, but what are they?”

Me: “They are bearded dragons.”

Customer: “I know that, but aren’t they a type of insect or something?”

Me: “No, ma’am. They are a type of reptile.”

Customer: “Oh. Are they related to the ones that breathe fire?”

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