Enclosed In A Guilt Cage

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 15, 2017

I am at a zoo with my school to learn about the animals, and one of the volunteers asks if there are any questions. I can’t remember my exact question, but I say something about “cages.”

The woman goes very stern and says, “We say, ‘enclosures!’”

Guilty, much?

An Areyouserious Rex

, , , , | Right | November 9, 2017

(I am at a zoo with a friend of mine. There is a new dinosaur exhibit and we are in line. It is a free exhibit, but to enter, you have to wait in line and pass by an employee.)

Customer: *seriously* “So… There are real dinosaurs in there? Like, we get to see real dinosaurs?!”

Employee: *confused* “They are… like… animatronic…”

Customer: *doesn’t say anything but looks completely confused*

Gasp If You Want To Be Heard

, , , , , , | Working | October 26, 2017

(There has been a major blizzard. Though the walkways in the zoo have been partially ploughed, the snow is still rough, and the benches are totally snowed under. I misjudge my stamina, and find myself gasping for breath and in a fair amount of pain when I finally struggle through the snow into the closest zoo exhibit. I collapse on the nearest chair and concentrate on breathing.)

Volunteer: “There aren’t any polar bears out today.”

Me: *gasp* “Darn!” *gasp*

Volunteer: “But you can see the seals!”

Me: *gasp* “I doubt I can—” *gasp* “—walk that far.”*gasp*.

Volunteer: “Enjoy the exhibit!”

Me: “I’ll try to.” *gasp*. “Um, ma’am?” *gasp*

Volunteer: “Yes?”

Me: “I doubt I can safely make it back to the Administration Building.” *gasp* “Could you get someone to come over—” *gasp* “—with a cart or something?” *gasp* “I’ll gladly pay for it.”

Volunteer: “We don’t have anything like that.”

Me: “Not any motorized vehicle in—” *gasp*“—the entire zoo?”

Volunteer: “Nope!”

Me: “Okay, would you do me—” *gasp* “—a favor? Please call the—” *gasp* “—Admin Building and ask them to—” *gasp* “—watch for me. If I haven’t checked in with them in—” *gasp* “—45 minutes, would they please send someone back this—” *gasp* “—way to see what happened to me?”

(Then the volunteer picked up her walkie-talkie and phoned security to send a guy in a golf cart to drive me back.)

Rabbits Are My Number One And Two Favorite Animals

, , , | Learning | August 16, 2017

(I work as an animal carer for our local petting zoo which also has a child day-care center for children aged 0-4. Off course the children love all the animals and are always curious what we are doing. One morning I am on my way to feed our rabbit groups near to where the children are playing. A cute little girl of about three follows me to the pens.)

Girl: “What are you doing?”

Me: “I am going to feed the rabbits and give them some water.”

Girl: “Why?”

Me: “Well, I think they would like to have something to eat and to drink just like you do.”

Girl: “Will that make them pee and poo?”

(Trying to keep a straight face.)

Me: “Yes, they will need to pee and poo.”

(The girl seemed satisfied and I allowed her to pet one of the rabbits for a moment before she went off to play again.)

Behaving Like They Were Raised In A Zoo

, , , | Related | August 10, 2017

(I recently started a job working the gift shop at one of the top-ranked zoos in the nation. As such, we get a lot of out-of-state visitors in every day. Today one such visitor approaches my counter with her son, who is roughly eight or nine years old, and a stuffed animal she wants to purchase. Since annual members of the zoo receive a 10% discount on all their merchandise purchases, I begin the transaction as I always do.)

Me: “Hi, are you a [City] Zoo member?”

Kid: *in a snotty, better-than-you tone* “We don’t even LIVE here. We’re from New Hampshire.”

(Before I can respond, his mother takes the stuffed animal off the counter and turns to her son.)

Mother: “Do you think he knows that just by looking at you? He doesn’t know what state you’re from; he’s just doing his job. Apologize to him right now or I’m not buying you this.”

(The kid sheepishly looked down to the ground and mumbled an apology, to which I simply smile and said “That’s all right.” I finished the transaction without a hitch, but that one example of parenting gone right made my day. Lady, if you’re reading this, I just want you to know that if it were within my power to do so, I would have given you the 10% discount for that!)

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