Keeps This Santa Train Running

, , , , , , | Related | December 24, 2017

(My siblings and I are at the zoo with my parents. It is December, so they have a Santa’s Grotto for kids to visit. I’m about four and my sister is six. Whilst my mum takes my baby brother for a feed, my dad takes my sister and me to see Santa. We both still believe in Santa, but our parents have also told us that the “Santas” you see in shops, etc, are almost never the real one, just his helpers, because he’s too busy to visit everywhere in the run up to Christmas. This is why there are so many different Santas around.)

Santa: “Hello, girls! What can I get you for Christmas?”

Me: “I want a toy dog, please!”

Sister: “Sparkly pens, please!”

Santa: “My, what good choices! I’ll see what I can do!”

Me: *loud whisper* “Daddy, is it really Santa or one of his helpers?”

Santa: *overhearing, turns to my dad with a smile* “Ah, sorry, sir! What did you say your name was?”

Dad: “Oh, it’s [Dad].”

Santa: “Oh, [Dad], of course! I almost didn’t recognise you. How’s the train set I gave you all those years ago? Still got it?”

(My dad tells him that the train set is at his parents’ house. Santa smiles and says he is glad my dad enjoyed it. My sister and I each get to choose a cheap present from Santa’s sack before we leave. As we’re going, I turn to my dad.)

Me: “Daddy, did you really get a train set for Christmas when you were little?”

Dad: “Yes, I did! I played with it all the time. We should ask Granny to get it out when we go round there!”

(In awe, I gazed back at Santa, who smiled and waved at me. Until I became old enough to realise Santa wasn’t real, I was convinced that I had met the true Santa!)

Poor Megan…

, , , , | Working | December 15, 2017

(We just got off a tour of a zoo.)

Driver/Guide: “Thank you for coming to [Zoo]. If you liked the tour, my name is [Name]. If you didn’t, my name is Megan, and get off my bus.”

Enclosed In A Guilt Cage

, , , , , , , | Learning | November 15, 2017

I am at a zoo with my school to learn about the animals, and one of the volunteers asks if there are any questions. I can’t remember my exact question, but I say something about “cages.”

The woman goes very stern and says, “We say, ‘enclosures!’”

Guilty, much?

An Areyouserious Rex

, , , , | Right | November 9, 2017

(I am at a zoo with a friend of mine. There is a new dinosaur exhibit and we are in line. It is a free exhibit, but to enter, you have to wait in line and pass by an employee.)

Customer: *seriously* “So… There are real dinosaurs in there? Like, we get to see real dinosaurs?!”

Employee: *confused* “They are… like… animatronic…”

Customer: *doesn’t say anything but looks completely confused*

Gasp If You Want To Be Heard

, , , , , , | Working | October 26, 2017

(There has been a major blizzard. Though the walkways in the zoo have been partially ploughed, the snow is still rough, and the benches are totally snowed under. I misjudge my stamina, and find myself gasping for breath and in a fair amount of pain when I finally struggle through the snow into the closest zoo exhibit. I collapse on the nearest chair and concentrate on breathing.)

Volunteer: “There aren’t any polar bears out today.”

Me: *gasp* “Darn!” *gasp*

Volunteer: “But you can see the seals!”

Me: *gasp* “I doubt I can—” *gasp* “—walk that far.”*gasp*.

Volunteer: “Enjoy the exhibit!”

Me: “I’ll try to.” *gasp*. “Um, ma’am?” *gasp*

Volunteer: “Yes?”

Me: “I doubt I can safely make it back to the Administration Building.” *gasp* “Could you get someone to come over—” *gasp* “—with a cart or something?” *gasp* “I’ll gladly pay for it.”

Volunteer: “We don’t have anything like that.”

Me: “Not any motorized vehicle in—” *gasp*“—the entire zoo?”

Volunteer: “Nope!”

Me: “Okay, would you do me—” *gasp* “—a favor? Please call the—” *gasp* “—Admin Building and ask them to—” *gasp* “—watch for me. If I haven’t checked in with them in—” *gasp* “—45 minutes, would they please send someone back this—” *gasp* “—way to see what happened to me?”

(Then the volunteer picked up her walkie-talkie and phoned security to send a guy in a golf cart to drive me back.)

Page 2/1812345...Last
« Previous
Next »